Thursday, December 18, 2014

Content as a sunset

Dearest Son and I did get to go out for a bit today – FIL told Beloved Hubby they’d found some of our stuff, so I offered to go get it. I realized on the way there that not only was I really happy to visit, I felt lighthearted and even a bit eager to. I don’t like who I become when I live with FIL. I get petty and jealous and angry and I start believing the worst of everybody around me. I have my reasons (which may also be petty), but it still doesn’t make me a nice person to be around. Even I don’t like myself. But when I’m away from him, I don’t care what he does, his deeds don’t immediately affect us 98% of the time, so I can enjoy being around him. Since I don’t have to depend on him, or have to ensure I know where everything is all the time, his more charming aspects are more readily apparent. I’m sure he and MIL have similar issues with me, I am simply too trifling to care what they are, but in short (too late !), we’re better off separated.

And they’re doing well, they’ve of course moved back into the main house, out of the much colder Garpartment, and they’re about where we are in their move. Stuff is in the house where it belongs, but not everything is in the room where it’s going yet. We still have bookcases in the garage, they got half-unpacked boxes everywhere. However, I’m still small enough to snort that they were so anxious for us to get our stuff out so they could stage ThatPit to sell it – and now that all our stuff is gone, they got so many huge piles of clothes scattered around that MIL had to kick several out of the way for me to get to our little stack of stuff. If they’re staging, they’re evidently going with a ‘pre-Hoarders’ theme, which is intriguing, but unlikely to help sell the place.

We also got to hit Dollar Tree, which was packed. I think today is the first day of Winter Break for the schools, there were kids everywhere at noon. Even with Christmas fast approaching, I can’ t think of a thing I’d want, except tasty snack food and some home improvements we’ll get to soon enough. Money, of course, but you can’t buy money, especially with what we have to spend. There’s no dolls I want, no fabric, no hobby stuff, nothin’. I am content, if hungry – and usually I’m not even hungry, I just get the idea that I want cheese crackers, and then try to talk m’self out of going to get ‘em.

We’ll have a few bucks to get Dearest a couple games to put under the tree, and some little things, but on the whole, I think we’re all content. It’s wonderful !

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