Saturday, October 25, 2014

Strain lines begin to show...

Yesterday was such a shock, I forgot everything else that was going on ! One of our neighbors came over to offer support, and gave me a Hefty bag full of dark purple tulle. Leftover from their wedding. Wow. Not sure what I’ll do with it all, but I certainly have enough to experiment with now !

After calling for housing assistance from what I thought was the VA line last week, I was told they should be in contact with me for further information within a week. I asked if I should call if I hadn’t heard anything by Friday, was told that was a good idea. Of course, it was radio silence all week, so I waited until after lunch Friday… and got a rather snotty young lady who tossed a phone number at me and hung up. Too bad the number she gave me went to an office that shut down at 1pm on Friday, and it was 1:38pm when I called. It gave me the office hours and hung up on me when I tried to punch in the extension Miss Thang gave me. Wheee.

Called my VA counsellor to update her, as she requested, and got her answering machine. And the pundits wonder why people feel disconnected and isolated. She called back, and as it turns out, this is evidently high season for homelessness, the agency I was mostly dealing with is the United Way, and they’ve quit accepting new cases. Not to worry, though – I was ‘in’. I was also advised to contact Catholic Charities and some other guy who never called me back. I’m starting to think my unusually pessimistic Beloved Hubby was right about us being on our own after all. I was also told that I should have a caseworker who should call me sometime Monday. Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen !

Beloved and I are on a silent truce. Nothing more’s been said, but nothing more’s been solved, either. If I thought I was unsettled and insecure three weeks ago, it’s nothing compared to now. He’s scared the ILs have no plans other than moving in on us after we go, and doesn’t seem to realize that’s my worst fear, too. For whatever reason, we can’t just discuss things with them like adults, or ask if their plans have been finalized or at least given the nod by the people who have to give it. I may just do it anyway.

Started digging through Dearest Son’s boxes o’ toys with him, which seems like a waste of time since Beloved’s still saving half the stuff we were gonna sell for the house I don’t know if we’re still trying to rent or not. Gonna be a sale of 25¢ bits and bobs at this rate. Sewed a webbing strap to an old funeral home zipper bag to use as a change keeper – Beloved took one look at it, said, ‘You do know that’s an old funeral home bag, right ?’. (sigh) Well, it’s better than a cigar box on a table, I can’t find my fanny pack, and this is less expensive than buying a nail apron, what does he expect ? I suppose I could embroider a design over ‘ XXX Funeral Home, Dignity & Respect’, but I figured that side’d be bouncing against my hip for most of the sale. I was kinda proud of me for thinking of it, until his little comment.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Sad and creepy - story of my life, I swear...

Friend of mine sent me this joke :

Dorrie : I really hate my in-laws.
Me : Well, just eat the potatoes and gravy.

Sad and creepy, but it made me laugh. I needed a laugh.

Neighbors informed me today that FIL hung out with G the AHole drug dealer twice last week – both times during my appointments with the VA. I can’t even care. I’ll just start taking Dearest Son with me, I’ll have to soon anyway. If MIL can’t be bothered to say anything to her husband, and FIL can’t be bothered to curb his prescription abuse enough to keep from pounding their house down his neck, there’s not much I can do.

Besides, I got enough on my plate. Also today, Beloved Hubby commented that, for all the work and money it’ll take to get us out of here, we could probably save the house. My heart stopped. I know him well enough to be aware that this deceptively simple statement indicates that he’s been thinking about it for some time. I was rendered speechless for about ten minutes and I couldn’t even look at him. I know how over-dramatic this sounds, but I swear it’s true – I could just feel the darkness closing over my shoulders, pulling me back. Decades of this, endless long years ran past my vision, and it was all I could do to keep from jumping from the car. So tempted…

He was rather surprised at my reaction and backpedalled furiously. I told him I knew it was a shame to throw away the security of a home, but it’s not our home and it’s not worth the effort it’d take to make it one. We clearly can’t trust his parents to honor any of their promises, and if we stay, they stay – and we’re now completely responsible for them, without them having to pay a penny for anything. Everything will be completely on our backs. If they’ve given up on this pit, why is he still hanging on ?  And the last I heard, they’d managed to get behind between $4 and $6K. Even moving into a house would cost half that, plus there’s no way we could even come up with the low end of that figure, and that says Wells Fargo is remotely willing to deal with it or us. And I reinforced my intent to never live with FIL again. He backed up but without reassuring our goals at all, or even indicating that we still truly agree on our current course, so now I’m wondering if we’re gonna survive their latest mess. I can’t even look at the potatoes now.

The final twist was that they stole the last can of Dearest’s ravioli. The one that was there yesterday. I am not staying here. I am not living with my ILs ever again. What Beloved does is up to him. 

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Back to the VA... at least I'm not in an ambulance this time !

My appointment went well – they neglected to log me as being there, and the automated kiosks were down, so I got forgot for an hour, but once they remembered me, things went pretty well. I got to see my hernia CAT scan, but didn’t learn a lot I didn’t already know. Surgery for that isn’t as necessary as originally thought, and they would like my health to improve before any attempt is made. I can understand that.

Got to see Salvation Army lasses for the first time – right after I’d seen vintage WWII posters of them ! They were handing out treats and coffee, but it was either bad timing or having to say ‘no’ to doughnuts (because I’d been up at 1am with Beloved, scarfin’ potato chips), so I didn’t get to partake of their generous volunteerism. Those around me who could were most appreciative.

Came back, crashed for three hours, and postponed the yard sale ‘til next Friday. Gonna have a Haunted Yard Sale, yay ! 

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Not very good Wednesday.

Ai. I so owe you guys an apology. I am so disjointed and disconnected that most of my posts have serious repeat action – I keep saying the same things over and over because I forgot I’ve already said ‘em 20+ times. I’ll try to be a bit more focused on the ‘here and now’ instead of what I hope will happen in a week or two.

Today was not  a good one. Dearest Son had a seizure – we’re gonna have to start monitoring his meds again – and he collapsed in the living room. We tried to trust him when he said he’d already taken them, but the stakes are simply too high to continue like that. I put all his in a box, just like mine are in a lunchbox, and they’ll be stored in our room ‘til it’s time to take ‘em. I’ll try to make it something for us to share twice a day (for him, at least).

Of course, he was just coming out of it when the air company guy showed up. We’re talking just barely 9am here. He had to check my equipment and drop off cannula hoses, and didn’t seem at all taken aback with the moving mess and Dearest’s nearly-passed-out form on the floor. Or me, pre-shower before Dearest fell, still in my (luckily long) nightgown. Makes me wonder what that dude has seen in other houses…

Even with Dearest napping most of the day, we got a lot of his room cleaned up. I’m still not sure if we’re gonna do the yard sale Friday or not. I’m waaaay behind and honestly, I’m just not ready. If I stay up all Thursday night, I probably would be, but I kinda need some sleep. Got another medical (about the hernia) tomorrow, so no rest tonight, and I need to keep a closer eye on Dearest today, so I just don’t see it happening.

Can always have it next Friday. Our prices would be scaaaary !

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

A very nice Tuesday.

Good day today. Ditched some jewelry – rings that were either broken or would never fit my fat fingers ever again, gifts I never really liked – to a gold buyer for sixty bucks, then bought a pneumatic nail gun tool from their showroom for Beloved Hubby for $40. I’m happy ! Honestly, I didn’t think all that stuff together was worth $20., or I’d have sold it years ago. Beloved’s super happy, ‘cause he can’t tell that the nail gun has ever been used. It works great. And I’m happy because we really didn’t spend any of our moving fund, and he really needed that thing – we just didn’t have $150. for a brand-new one.

We also picked up a stand fan from the curb on the way to the dealer, and it works great ! Much nicer than the flyweight $20. one I was always gonna buy all summer. Looked it up – this bad boy was $50. on Score !

I also got a survey, so in a few days, I’ll have $15. in my PineCone account. Riches, I tell you, riches ! And Flickr evidently agreed that I did cancel my service a couple weeks ago and completely refunded my yearly fees.    Yaaay ! Stove buyer stood us up, no surprise.

We’re kind of stalled on the big move. He really wants that house, which won’t be available ‘til the first of November, if we’re lucky. And we haven’t seen the inside, or know what the landlord’s ‘work out your deposit’ terms are yet. But for now, we’re still hoping to move as soon as possible, and to that end, save as much as we can. Yard sale is still on for Friday, I’m not buying the awesome set of Frozen dolls that I like. Once all this move mess is over, oh, yeah, mine. Waited this long, few more weeks won’t hurt.

Besides, I’ve gotten so used to waiting that instant gratification for anything larger than a lollipop at our bank frankly scares me. (grin) I stash the candy to give out later. It was so great to see my last nurse’s face light up when I handed her a cherry one. Or to surprise Dearest Son when we’re waiting and bored. 

Monday, October 20, 2014

I keep waiting for the VA Medical Center to say they're giving up on me and all my issues...

Medical appointment today ! (sigh) Turns out, I may not have asthma after all. My lungs are smaller than they should be, and I seem to have some sort of obstruction in my airways. It’s not COPD, but I have more diagnostic tests coming up in a couple months. Kind of explains my unbreakable mouth-breathing habit. I’ve been a bit tight-chested these past few weeks, typical during seasonal changes, so they’re putting me on a daily inhaler – forgot the name of it, but I’ve seen ads – and we’ll see how I respond to that. There’s also the possibility that I’m hyper-reactive, something I’ve known for years. My body never does anything halfway. Other than that, I’ve lost a few pounds and my blood pressure is nice and low, so the doctors were pretty happy with me. And I got my flu shot, it always feels good to get that done early.

Beloved Hubby went with me, and we had some very necessary away-from-the-Pit discussion time during the drive, trying to decide between house (if it’s offered, kinda late for us, but more room, no deposit although we’ll have lawn care, more utility deposits, and the possibility of IL mooch) and apartment (less space, more noise, but no possibility of lawn or ILs). He’s leaning towards the house, which I’m OK with, long as he knows I flat refuse to live with FIL again. All three times, we’ve been the ones who bent backwards for them, and all three times we’ve been eating beans while they’re hiding their McD’s bags. Not to mention all the stress and lies. I refuse to try again, I just can’t live with FIL. Which I have said, and said again today, straight up, no hinting or beating around a beat-up bush, several times with explanations why. He says he understands, here’s hoping it’s not ever gonna be an issue. Frankly, after all FIL has put us through, I can’t imagine anybody who would have the huevos to even expect a darn dime from us, but this is my FIL we’re talking about. He seems shameless. I confess, I hide Beloved’s wallet most nights, which is pretty darn sad when you think about why.

Haven’t heard anything from the Housing Vets, but it probably won’t be ‘til Wednesday at the earliest. But my phone is rarely more than five inches away, and I’ve kept it charged. It still seems a bit odd for me to have a private only-for-me phone, since I grew up with not only a single ‘house’ phone, but party lines ! Anybody else remember your mamma eavesdropping on those things ? :) Someone’s supposed to come look at the stove tomorrow, but as we’ve already been stood up twice by two other buyers, I’ll believe when I see. Although $5. will get you $5.05 that, if they show up, they'll ask for a few bucks off our stupid low price on it.

Sunday, October 19, 2014


Today we looked at the outside of a house that came up as available a bit late in our preferred time frame on Craigslist. It’s in a good section of PreviousTown, still has a tenant, but it’s one of those ‘can negotiate repair work for deposit’ deals, which may benefit us, or just the landlord, depending. But Beloved Hubby was curious, and called, so we’ll see how things go, once the tenant is gone and he can give the owner an estimate and schedule. If that doesn’t go well, there’s another apartment complex we like, and we still don’t know what the VA can help us with yet. We’ll have more room with the house, but also lawn upkeep, and the possibility of the ILs asking to stay with us (no way !), so Beloved’s flip-flopping about it. At this point, I don’t even care where we go, as long as it’s just the three of us going !

FIL has moved so much stuff outside for the pending (not ‘til Friday) yard sale, I had to move some of it to get in and out of my car ! I’m half convinced that, if I go anywhere Thursday, I’ll have to park down the street, because he’ll take over the driveway soon as it’s empty.

While we were out, we redeemed a coupon at Harbor Freight for a free voltmeter. We’ve needed one since Beloved’s blew out during our many attempts to repair the air conditioning. For a freebie, it’s pretty nice. Actually bought something, a wheel to replace the broken one on our hand truck, sure to come in handy between yard sale and move.

We also hit the GoodWill next door. Yikes. That place was a complete mess, stuff scattered everywhere, and most of it broken or missing parts. It seemed everyone in there was so utterly convinced that the person next to them was gonna pull some incredible find out of the dross that they hovered over entire sections. I pulled a doll’s leg up and had three pairs of eyes fastened on me like I’d found a rare antique. Nope, just a worn baby doll that was cheap when it was new. They had a Pos’n Tressy, still in the box, for $50., but that was in the display case. Too rich for the likes of me ! I was glad I didn’t find anything, the registers were even more of a mess than the store was. Not sure if I’m going back there ever again, no matter where we move.