Class action = free lesson materials !

Wow. Today I got a postcard telling me I’d been represented in a class-action lawsuit against Justice. You know, that girls’ clothing and accessory shop that’s so sparkly-shimmery, I kept expecting to sneeze glitter hours after setting foot in the place ? Well, I bought a couple MH dolls and MLP Ty stuffies from them, years ago, during one of their frequent 40% off sales. Frankly, their prices on my targets were so high otherwise, I wouldn’t have bothered with them, even for exclusive and hard-to-find dolls, not to mention the glitter thing.

The 40% off ‘sales’ are what the lawsuit’s about. The suit alleges that consumers were led astray by such claims, since the post-40% off ‘sale’ price was, in fact, the regular price. Well, duh. Ascena Retail Group, Inc  - aka, Justice - admits no wrongdoing, but a $50.8 million settlement has been reached regardless, and somehow, my name and correct address (how that got that, I have no idea, I haven’t been near the store since we moved) came up in the scrum. If I do nothing, I get a coupon for $20. off my next $25. purchase there. If I prefer, I can get a check for $13. instead, I just have to register at a website. I checked, it’s not a scam, and all the names and addresses check out. More frequent shoppers can apply for more of the settlement pie by submitting receipts, but we all know I didn’t go often or spend much, and those few receipts (suit dates encompass 1/1/12 to 2/28/15) are long gone.

Wanna take bets on how long my $13. check will take to arrive ? (lol) There’s a hearing in May, and if no one objects, the dispersal could be as quick as six months after that. So, October at the earliest. You could get pregnant and give birth between now and then. It’s darn near funny. And more valuable as a teaching tool for Dearest Son – seems my ILs are also in a class action suit against a much bigger company, and they’re expecting tons of cash out of it. They’re daydreaming like lottery winners. I’ve already told Dearest that however big the pie starts out, the lawyers get the biggest slice and the people they’re so valiantly defending divvy up the leftovers. Being able to show him the most his momma will get out of $50.8 million is $13. is priceless.

Still, if it actually happens – and I’m certainly not avoiding respiration in the meanwhile – it’ll be nice to find a surprise $13. in the mail that I will have completely forgotten about when it’s time to shop for Halloween candy. Or Thanksgiving dinner. Maybe I’ll blow it all on Christmas presents.