Dollar Tree hammer.

Sorry, ya’ll, for dropping the ball. It’s been beyond Hades around here. Our second application to another apartment complex was denied yesterday, and we were rather at a loss as to what to do next. Still are, to tell the truth, but… are we on some ‘don’t rent to these people, EVER !’ list ? I know my credit score, it’s ‘Fair’, well past the minimum most renters like, and I even have somewhat of a guaranteed income, more than the rent – not even counting what Beloved Hubby brings in ! Our old place said they simply wrote us off, we didn’t owe them anything over 2012's 'move out in the night', so if it’s not that, what is it ? I was starting to feel even more punished for trying to help out family (who ended up using us like a Dollar Tree hammer – useful, but ultimately disposable).

Beloved was on the campus grounds when I got the call – the young lady was so cheerful, I thought I misunderstood her, she seemed so happy that we couldn’t move in ! - and had to go back to class. I’d have hid it from him ‘til he got home, but I’d barely hung up the phone with her when he called. I think I was in a bit of shock. I was so desperate to talk to someone, I called the Veteran Crisis Line. I felt bad about doing that, as I wasn’t self-injurious at that point, but I was rapidly reaching my limits.

Turns out, they can help. In a lot of ways. So I got that ball rolling, and spoke with several people today, hopefully we’ll have more of a plan as the days go by. Luckily we’re not yet evicted, the power and water are still on, and there’s food (if FIL doesn’t quit helping himself – luckily there, we’re about down to stuff he doesn’t like !). Most of all, though, the wonderful woman I spoke with listened. I’m not saying Beloved isn’t, he’s agreed and backed up nearly everything I’ve said, but there are times you just wanna unload and let it rip with someone who won’t remember every word you say for the rest of your lives together. I also got up with my FIL-negative neighbor, who really wants to hear all the dirt, so I’m sure I’ll be dishing soon.

So, while not much has changed, I feel much better and humbled a bit from all the support I got, all because I simply asked for it. I may actually sleep tonight ! Was a bit restless last night, but now that things are moving, I think tonight will go better.