I'm beeing a bee-otch.

Current Mood : Upset at m'self.

Today was not a good day. For me, at least. And most of it was my own fault, but it really showed how frustrated I'm getting - and I don't like how much of an unholy brat I am when I'm frustrated. Especially when it's not even over anything important.

So here's the whole stupid, sordid mess. Maybe by confessing and remembering and just plain being publicly embarrassed by my behavior, I can knock it off already. (sigh) We begin. A few days ago, I noted that I was attracted to various pieces of the Monster High (you knew that was in this craptacular somewhere, didn't you ?) Create A Monster "Bee Girl" add-on set. Didn't want the main sort~of two-doll kits, mostly just various bits of Bee. And, as luck would have it, those various pieces were available separately on eBay - for about twice the price of the MSRP of the thing (shipping included). So I did what I normally do, research.

And, amazingly, Mal-Wart's website showed it available, but not locally. Still, I could even ship-to-store it for free, and it'd be here a few days later. Yaay ! I'd get it all, and even 'bonus' pieces, for just $11., easy-peasy. For once.

For not. I told Beloved Hubby, who asked me to wait a few days before ordering it. Sure, we had the funds, but he wanted to get another check deposited. Okay. You already know where this is going, right ? Yup. Sold out about two hours ago.

I admit, I didn't handle it well. I got so wired and upset that I went for a walk. In 35mph winds. I was so looking forward to having something new that didn't involve multiple efforts that I completely overshot the original 'hey, I'd like to have that' and somehow tied getting it into rekindling my current slump mood and my own status in the household. Y'see, the money I got for selling my books both went into the household funds, since they both sold right when we needed some cash. Beloved promised I could get my too-expensive thing when we had money again, but...well, you know how that's going. My delayed gratification on this one is growing into 'not sure if I want it anymore'.

My mind was a near total blank while I walked - turns out I can hoof it all the way to the thrift bakery and back, no problem - but when I sat down afterwards, I knew what I wanted. I want to say, "I like that, and I'd like to have one" when promo photos come out, and, money permitting, go into the blasted store and just bloody buy one and be done with it. Not turn it into some ridiculous odyssey every. single. time. I've actually decided that I would like a Cupid doll - and we know how that's gonna go, and I'm already resenting it. I am tired of calling, driving, and bothering my family over freakin' dolls. It's not like I'm missing a part to our home nuclear reactor - it's a plastic doll ! It should not require this kind of intense effort to buy a darn toy.

What, after fifty, sixty years in the business, Mattel doesn't know how to ship their shite ? If the rest of their distribution was this lousy, ole Babs wouldn't have made it to her 50th anniversary, 'cause parents don't put up with this kinda crap for very long. If Mattel is this stupid, that'd be one thing, but the fact is, they're still in business. I can only assume they're doing it on purpose, and that *really* infuriates me.

(sigh) So I didn't handle things well, but at least I didn't throw things. Well, just that one thing. That rock really shouldn't have been in the middle of the road anyway. By the time I got back, Beloved had ordered the Bee from Amazon.com, along with a tape recorder he needed for class. Which, of course, made me feel worse. It's not Mattel's fault I'm such a spoiled little &^%$, but I really am frustrated with them. And they really, honestly, honor-bright just don't give a crap.

When I realize this is all over a doll, a cheap toy...all I can do is tell myself how ridiculous I'm being, how I've already done all this before, numerous times, and not learned yet...and I feel like crying for all the time and effort wasted.

Now if Beloved and Dearest Son can forgive me, maybe I'll move on and remember this time. I hate that they're the ones who have to see me this wound up. Again.