(incoherent noises of deep frustration)

Current Mood: Guess.

Sorry, ya’ll. Had another medical appointment today, just a follow-up I wasn’t really concerned about, but had feelings of apprehension all last night over anyway. It was compounded when my ten-minute procedure took over two and a half hours, and nobody was telling me anything. They wouldn’t even let me wait with no information with Beloved Hubby and Dearest Son, nope. I was stuck in a small room with an April issue of Time, an older copy of Forbes, and two Oscars-themed Entertainment Weekly magazines. I got so bored that, even after replicating every bit of yoga I could remember from Wii Fit, twice, I started writing ‘All wait and no info makes Dorrie a bad patient’ over and over on the back of a search-a-word puzzle with terms like ‘benign’, ‘radiation’,  ‘cyst’ , ‘abcess’, and ‘biopsy’. Guess what sort of medical test I was having ? Bonus clue for the ladies : look down at your blouse. What’s inside ? Yeah. That. Just the right one.

Two hours later, I was finally told that my ‘simple follow-up’ test was irregular, and I needed more testing. And after that, it was still inconclusive, so I get to go back Friday for a biopsy. I can’t worry about it. I just can’t. I’ll end up in a ball in the corner of the kitchen, mentally fried. It could be said that no one would notice the difference, and I’d agree, but I simply can’t think about it right now. I’ve dealt with further heart deterioration, anemia, diabetes, thyroid issues, sleep apnea, asthma, and lifelong scarring, in this year alone. I’m too wrecked to worry about anything else.

I’m just really beyond *&^%ed at the ‘Institute’. Beloved waited the whole time in the lobby with no clue. He wasn’t told even what little info I got, and was really starting to worry as we were approaching the third hour of a half-hour appointment. Short of making a scene and frightening the few other patients in the lobby – most of whom were elderly – there wasn’t much we could do, so we left. But there’s a half-written letter elsewhere on my hard drive, and the finished version will be going with me Friday.

So. My day was pretty much wrecked, and the day was about half over by the time we got back home. We’d gone to an Asian grocery earlier, near Beloved’s school, and I’d stupidly purchased a pound bag of rice crackers. I proceeded to eat nearly half the bag, and for once in my stupid life, I am actually sick of rice crackers. Mildly nauseous, to tell the truth. I can’t even look at the remainder right now.

How was your day ?