Thursday, March 26, 2015

And they look about the same today, surprisingly.

Backyard before the storm.

Heckuva day. AT&T is blaming the storms, but it seems odd that we had internet all night and this morning at 8am, but lost it somewhere between 8 and 9:30am. Guess it’s like a car, any part can go belly-up at any time. I’d been up at 5am with Beloved Hubby, he’s working long hours to make up for the missed work from the snow. Just got to lie back down at 7am, when Beloved and I texted ‘til I crashed, then Junior-kitty wanted attention, then he wanted out. Fell asleep again, woke to Dearest’s stomping around, thinking his modem was mucking up. I think I’d reached the ‘too tired to even wanna sleep’ point. 

Sneaky AT&T got our service restored about 12:30pm or so, I was too busy reorganizing the DVD shelves, so I could find something to watch, to notice exactly when. By the time I’d selected something mindless (Super Troopers, a go-to favorite), there it was. BTW, if you’re a STrooper fan, too, they’re doing a gofundme to make ST2, and both their YouTube videos are hilarious. Moustaches abound ! 

Then, right after lunch, the mail came. My dear Mother struck again. I was scared to open it at first – she addressed it to my hated birth name, so I knew there was something sharp and painful inside – but I refused to give her the power. Funeral service for my father, with a note inside. Said she was redoing her will, anything I wanted ? (scoff) I told her what I wanted in 2002, a decent relationship with them and my husband and son, she laughed in my face, issued her ultimatum. Some bridges can’t be rebuilt – the path is just too hard to maintain, and it’ll get burnt up again before it’s even finished. Again, leave it all to Conway Twitty roadies and Dale Earnhart pit crew members, at least they gave you some pleasure, more than I ever did. 

(sigh) Or maybe I'm just so used to her slaps, I can't tell when it's a caress instead. She may have meant it as a kindness, I just can't tell. Either way, I hope the best for her in all her life. I just don't want to keep being confused and hurt by the slightest little actions, it's exhausting and taking time from people who mean the best for me. I just can't think she's one of them anymore.

Shortly after that, Beloved was home, with a bag of my favorite potato chips and dip, and we watched a movie to a leftover smorgasbord supper. Then he and Dearest played Driver: San Francisco together on the PS3, so I could have some quiet time to myself. I stretched out on the sleeping bag on the living room floor and petted Junior-kitty, watching them play and adding my commentary. A quick check of Facebook showed that dear friend S. had instant-messaged me and we chatted a bit. 

So, while today was a bit of a challenge, and I really didn’t get anything done, I feel warm and content and loved. A pretty good day, I think !

1 comment:

  1. Y'know, it's probably better not to respond at all or even think about her message. I mean, life's too short to waste time playing mental cat and mouse. She's ignoring your wishes and boundaries by using a name you don't like, so I think you can safely assume that she's not too worried about being nice and considerate to you. :(