Current Mood : Pain, but so much less, I'm almost happy !
I still don't know how to write about yesterday. Even from the safe harbor of Saturday, looking back, it was unbelievable, and I hope I forget it soon. I'm tempted to just say 'on hiatus, be back Monday' or somesuch - it's a holiday weekend Stateside. Labor Day. But something's telling me to get this done already, so here goes.
Skip this entry if medical issues skeeve you out. Especially painful, icky ones.
After a few days of hope and belief, it was hard to tell if the infection on my legs was getting better or getting worse. It looked different nearly every day, and the plasma puddles weren't going away. In fact, there were more of them, formed where I'd never been scratched or injured by Oliver, or any cat. And it hurt more frequently. I was really starting to worry, so when Beloved Hubby came home early, he pushed for me to call my nurse practitioner's office, make the soonest appointment possible, and at least get it looked at. I was hurting bad - although now, thinking that minor pain like that was anywhere in the same country code as 'bad', is laughable. I could walk after a bit of a owie-stretch, how dare I call that pain ? I was lucky and got an appointment for two hours later, and worry-stewed the time between.
Without getting too much into it, I'd soaked my shoe through between putting it on just as we left and getting on the scale at their office. Lost eight pounds since my previous visit ! But that was the only bright spot. I soon had most of the practitioners in my exam room, since the first wasn't quite sure if they could help. To me, it wasn't that bad, but evidently, it was worse than I believed. In the end, they slathered both legs with antibiotic, covered the worst spots with telfa (absorbent, non-stick gauze) pads, and wrapped each leg in three 4 1/2" wide Ace bandages - very tightly. My soaked shoe and its dry companion wouldn't fit over them, and the bandages were super-tight.
So tight, in fact, that I had trouble getting into the Diesel, and was twisting in pain on the way home. I put it down to being folded in the truck's cockpit, and figured it'd ease up when I could stretch out. Nope. In some ways, it was worse. I was supposed to be feet-up, sofa-rest, but rest was a foreign concept. Pain was the nature of my very world now, and it hurt more, minute by minute.
I can't even really describe it now, because I don't want to hurt you - or myself by trying to remember. Suffice it to say, the bandages were tight enough to alter circulation, because I needed that...but it was not going well. Eating ? I couldn't take my mind off the agony to chew. Rest was an increasingly foreign concept, a barely believeable light at the end of the worst, most horrible tunnel I've ever known. Both legs seemed to compete over which could hurt worse, in turns.
Beloved checked over the wrapping and changed the telfa after three hours. I could feel tiny tendrils of blue light arc from my calves to my toes as my circulation went back to normal. That hurt, too, but it was a winking pinch from a lover compared to a beat-down from everyone who's ever hated the slightest thing about you given a single form and one day to wail on ya.
His rewrap was tight, too, but not as bad...still, I already knew I wasn't gonna be able to take much more. So, after four hours and $50., the bandages came off. I welcomed the gentle pain and nearly sobbed in relief. I hate to get expert advice and not use it, but I was...not human for those four hours. Words had no sense, nothing existed but my pain. Yes, I'm a wimp. Take these f^%$3ing bandages off before I saw my legs off with a steak knife. Seriously. I was considering it.
We haven't totally disregarded the medical advice - I have two prescriptions that'll be ready tomorrow, and they doubled two of my current ones, we need more pads and triple-antibiotic gel, and my single-Ace-bandage wrapped legs are elevated as much as possible - I'm still on sofa-rest. But now I'm human. I can watch old movies like Car Wash and understand what's going on, I have a slight appetite, I've colored two pages in an old Barbie coloring book, and the Monster High girls are keeping me steady company. My legs still hurt, but it's bearable. Maybe, between Beloved's loving care, Dearest Son's kind willingness to help out, and all these new regimens and medicines, I'll be OK.
If not, well, I can't help but think that, with so much on my side, I'll be all right no matter what !
Hope your day was less dramatic !
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