It’s the little things that keep reminding me I’m ‘getting better’
instead of ‘am better’. I keep falling asleep at the drop of a hat, grasping
insanely every time the cannula goes one way and my nose goes another, making
sure I always know where the inhaler is (preferably three feet from my claws at
any given moment), and bolting awake realizing I hadn’t really dealt with all
this – only to fall back asleep, figuring there wasn’t that much left to deal
with by now anyway.
That’s not exactly true, but I can’t really deal with it on a
blog, now can I ? What gets me is how scared I am of everything, all of a
sudden. Scared to drive, scared to go anywhere, scared to even sew. It’s
irrational, and I’ll have to deal with it, but give me a couple more days,
please ? I may feel weak now, but deep down I am strong, I just need to access
my strength and it’s a challenge when my reach seems so short. It’s growing,
though, every day I don’t give up and sleep all day. Shame sleep is so nice….
Anyway, at least I can bring back photos ! Here's the last doll I bought, a Tolly Tots Belle, from my fave thrift. No shoes, but, hey, I got the crown this time ! Tomorrow, you get the 'after' photo - since all she needed was a brush-out, she cleaned up very nicely. And now I have a Belle that doesn't look like Princess Dorrie ! Yaaay !
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