Hi ! I’m back !

It only seemed like I’d vanished or died. Truth be told, I’ve been in the hospital for quite some time. Seems the real reason I was so weak and having trouble breathing was a cascade of issues. Had bronchitis – didn’t know it – so I treated my asthma, and the inhalers hiked my blood sugar to insane heights and didn’t help. But now my circulation was suffering, so I had some kidney damage, and it didn’t do much for my heart, either. I nearly passed out from lack of air, so I called 911, and felt like I was in a subway tunnel after a sticky rainstorm of panic by the time the paramedics got a breathing mask on me. Rode an ambulance for the for the third time in my life up to the VA ER, where they nearly admitted me on the spot. They were having trouble finding me a room. This whole time, I figure I’ll get a breathing treatment or two and be home for a slightly late supper. That’s always what happened  before…

Ended up with five doctors, each of whom had to sign off to the head honcho before I could leave, and because I had several diseases and issues going on at once, it wasn’t a quick thing like I believed. Believe this or not, your local McD’s has better Wi-Fi than the VA hospital here. I wouldn’t have minded being there soooo long if I could have distracted m’self with a little research and such.

I also got the weirdest room-mate – that’s how crowded it was, we were sharing a room designed for one patient – who suffered from her own plague of illnesses. Seriously, I think plague was the only thing she didn’t have. She kept asking me what a colonoscopy was like, and I kept having to tell her I have no idea, I’ve never had one, but she’d had one three years ago. She also whined and complained so much about being there for one day – I’d been there five by then – that I started whining about going home, too. Mostly to escape her !

She picked up two grifters in the open patio smoking area – um, no, there's never been a 23-year-old Sergeant Major Apache pilot, especially when he confesses he’s not paid support for any of his 13 kids, ever. His girlfriend said she was pregnant with five of his kids (yeah, quints) and due any day, plus she’d personally rescued Jessica Lynch and shot a Taliban leader in his left eye. Of course, she’s also an officer… and weighs more than me, pregnant or not – and they were her constant companions. Which is what roomie wanted, I’ve never seen such an attention vacuum. She even distracted doctors who were there to see me ! She called my respiratory therapists ‘respory (sic) terrorists’ when they wouldn’t move furniture or plug her equipment in for her. She never did anything if someone else was around to do it for her – and she wasn’t even ill, she told me, she was just there for a colonoscopy ! The Grifters (sounds like a nice family name !) got her money and introductions to other people they soaked for cash with a well-sung sob story. A poorly written one easy to disprove, but I guess their victims were too busy thinking on the higher things. Like, should you offer a pregnant woman a Marlboro or a Kool ? She smoked both.

Why they were currently homeless and sneaking into all-night restaurants and public patios in Downtown Capitol City is a story worthy of a movie, if anyone could believe two minutes of it. It's epic. And something I would pay money to forget I ever heard, so I'm not putting it here. You're welcome. 

Thank Everything I got out of there before I had to hear all about her colonoscopy story 15 times. She never said anything just once. She told me the same anecdote four times in one afternoon, and the last time, I told her the punchline before she got to it. I got five minutes of confused silence out of that trick. Beloved brought my computer the first day, and I became reacquainted with everything besides internet it can do. He brought in Frozen and Bad Santa with my headphones the next day. Local channel only TV was so bad, neither of us bothered to turn the single set on at all most days.

I’m still weak and wheezing a bit, but it’s much better than where I was two weeks ago, there’s barely a comparison. Oh, and I’m now a full-fledged diabetic, I gave m’self my first insulin shot yesterday. (sigh) But I really think getting that controlled and managed is what’s giving me some energy back. So, nothing bad without some good in it, it usually works out that way. I’m still adjusting to the new normal, but I’ll be OK.

Hope things are going well for you ! Missed ya !