Some days, ya just gotta buy the stickers and eat the cheese crackers.

You might notice a drop in content on Wednesdays. That’s group therapy day, and while it’s only two hours plus an hour’s travel, and I get to talk about me for a good chunk of it, it is a bit tiring. Rewarded myself today with some of my new favorite cheese crackers, the Lisa Frank stickers I’ve wanted for a couple weeks, and a box of Slush Puppy pop-ice, all from Dollar General. Yeah, the stickers were silly, but they were only $1., and I really liked several of the designs. Since there were ‘Over 600 !’ in the folder, many are tiny, which will come in handy for my dolls. Just don’t tell my vast collections of Disney Princess and Frozen stickers, OK ?

Made those tasty smoked Gouda chips my reward for cleaning up the kitchen and prepping the dishes for this afternoon’s scrubbing. After a hearty lunch of potato soup – made from the corned beef stock – I fell sound asleep for nearly two hours. It’s noteworthy ‘cause I can hardly sleep these days without the C-Pap mask. Yeah, I still hate it, but I rest so much better with it, and the mask doesn’t freak me out anymore, it’s just become another thing I do, like brushing teeth or thrift shopping.

Got a good chunk of the dishes done before Beloved Hubby came home, and I’ll probably put off the rest ‘til tomorrow. We had a nice simple dinner – markdown ham steaks, mac & cheese, with corn muffins. I’m stuffed !

But I still hope to sew tomorrow. Oh, yeah – I’ve gone two entire days with no soda ! I’ll probably break down and have a single glass tomorrow, but I’d rather eat my calories than drink ‘em !

After Easter stuff. . .

Can you believe I got this, hand-stitched, framed and all, at a thrift in February, for just $5. ? It's true !

Some merry prankster – or clumsy bunny ! – decorated our sidewalks for at least four blocks with jellybeans and speckled malted milk eggs. Hope no kids picked ‘em up and ate them !

Slept late, so I didn’t get to any doll stuff today. Took Dearest Son to Dollar Tree, as we needed a few things. Cough and cold season means we tear through tissues, and I wanted to test the sweater shaver I got at the thrift this past weekend. Shaver : 25¢  Batteries : $1. Shaving a bald spot in an old towel : Awesome ! Of course, after I bought a box of chalk there, I found the pieces I’d been searching for- but it’s all good. Even if the thrifted fabric isn’t chalkboard stuff – seems to have the same texture as online photos do – that just means I have more colors to use now. Fabric works perfectly with chalk.

Selected a few small bags of discounted Easter candy, and Dearest crowed that he was getting more for his money buying chocolate rabbits on sale instead of candy bars. He even compared ounces to cost, which I didn’t learn ‘til I was out on my own.

Not a lot else going on – we got the local chicken shack’s Tuesday special for dinner, which was a nice surprise. And I have group therapy tomorrow. Maybe I can squeeze a bit of doll sewing time in between that and dishes !

Thrifted dolls - I got a LOT !

Last month, I scored a PJ Sparkles doll, no dress or shoes, but very pretty. Her hair wasn’t much of a mess, and once I replaced her ‘Best By 2000’ 9v battery, she lit up again, flawlessly. I always liked that doll, but was ‘too old’ when she came out in 1988, so I was happy to find her at GWill. Hope to sew a simple skirt for her tomorrow !

I also acquired a Bag o’ Barbies, and after careful consideration, kept seven and put fourteen back in the bag to re-donate. It was an interesting mix. Among the ones I kept were a Skating Elsa, a pink perma-blouse Disney Aurora, a Disney Descendants ‘Coronation Gown’ Audrey, a pretty brunette Barbie with eyelashes, and a fairly recent ‘Day to Night’ rotating scalp / hair colors Barbie. Continuing their adventures elsewhere are a Dora doll with yellow duct-tape diapers, a doll that may have come with a tree stand, rifle, and deer, a Model Muse Barbie, a princess Barbie with a light-up, spinning skirt, and an Ever After Apple White missing one hand.

I’m also choosing our menu for the week, deciding what culinary delight I’ll employ to break in the ‘new’ slow-cooker. Writing up a menu really saves us money – I don’t buy as much, I can plan around sales, make the most out of leftovers, and it settles the eternal ‘what’s for dinner’ query quickly. And it’s not like we’re obligated to stick to it. Only problem is, we don’t eat out much anymore !  

In solidarity with the state teacher’s strike, Beloved Hubby was home today. So we slept in, got huge, sloppy sausage gravy biscuits, played Far Cry 5, and otherwise enjoyed the day. We talk politics a lot more now – age makes activists of us all eventually ! – but aside from keeping an eye on the strike, we didn’t much today. Hope your first Monday of April ’18 was good, too !

Hair Play Sunday - Happy Easter !

Wish my 'new' QC Barbie looked this good ! Mine does have those little hair beads though. . . 

Hard to believe it's April already ! Luckily today's only April Fool's prank was when I placed a ham sandwich in front of Beloved, telling him it was liverwurst !  

Beloved Hubby and Dearest Son loved their ‘Easter Bindles’ – Beloved had fun rubbing the tulle over my head, showering me in gold glitter. I’m not sure how I ended up with bits in my mouth and more down my bra, but glitter is considered the herpes of the crafting world for a reason ! He's using his custom Lindt ribbon as a bookmark. Dearest put his glitter tulle to work in the MLP castle, as royal rugs and a bedspread. I told him he could have more whenever he wants - thanks to another thrift score weeks ago, I got an entire spool of the stuff. How clever of the Easter Bunny, to wait ‘til he got here to use craft materials from my sewing table !

I’m still finding places for last week’s second-hand bounty. I was thrilled to find those vintage Cricket and Velvet clothes, even though I have neither doll. There are lots of free patterns for both dolls online, and I can use the issue dresses as testers on the dolls I do have, to preview if the patterns might fit.

                                                                                                   

In an effort to stop the bored-hungry – I’ve gained weight over the winter – I decided to brush out the snarled curls of the single doll who still needed it, the ‘Royal Reflection Eyes’ Elsa in a Cinderella dress. Took the dress off and realized she actually was Cinderella, as Elsa’s painted-on panties are teal while Cindy’s are light blue. Plus her hair parts differently. Same head, though. Half an hour later, her hair was at least out of the dreadlocks – it’s still floofy, but the brush passed easily through it, and my wrists were whining. Thank Everything I use a pet brush on those wrecked tresses now. Found a small one in a Flea Market ‘Free !’ box, and I swear, when I donate these dolls – I’m now allied with Dolls For Appalachia – I’m going to include a pet brush with each one. Amazing how many Disney Princess ‘toddler’ dolls show up at Goodwill with Medusa-level hair.

I also had time to play with my new Quick Curl Barbie, the one with the left leg that falls off. Had one, and QC Skipper, as a kid. A bit of research showed she was the first issue version, like my childhood one, not the ‘Deluxe’ or ‘Miss America’ one. If I can’t fix her leg, I’ll just make her a simple elastic ‘girdle’ so she can sit and pose, gosh knows I’ve done that before. Might even make the girdle into panties, just for fun. For now, her leg’s staying where I snapped it back on, but it may just be playin’ with me.

After spending so much time with more modern dolls, a a near-vintage one keeps surprising me. She has butt markings, the angled T-n-T waist, no perma-panties, her legs click and hold three times, and her joints are strictly back and forth. In fact, this one had gone so long without any play, her arms were almost stuck in the sockets. They’re fine now.

Also, her head isn’t so full of hair that light behind her doesn’t shine through a bit, which gives her face an attractive glow. Hm. Wonder if that’s part of the appeal of vintage dolls.

More Thrift Scores !

Why I suddenly want AG-size stuff. This is Autumn. 

I’ve gotta stay away from thrifts ! While I have lots of fun, and find great stuff, we’re running out of space to enjoy the bounty !

Decided I wanted to serve the ‘S&M Challenge’ (a bowl of half Skittles, half M&Ms) to my friends in group therapy, and set out to find some pretty but cheep bowls or glasses – something they could take home afterward. And did I find 'em  ! Twelve pretty squarish cut-glass ‘on the rocks’ style glasses, that might have gone with a punch-bowl, for just 50¢ each. But they had green tags, so they were half off ! Got the whole dozen for $3., more than enough for the group, probably enough for Chez Insanity to have a set to keep, too !

I also found a kids’ book for a budding ballerina of my acquaintance, a gorgeous miniature crystal dish (probably to catch rings beside a sink or vanity), and a crystal basket that split the fluorescent lighting into dozens of tiny yet magnificent rainbows. I’d found the promotional Magic Easter Egg on the bookshelves, so the $4. basket was only a buck ! Wow. Dearest Son enjoyed looking around, but didn’t see anything interesting.

Today I had some ‘me’ time, so I hit a local thrift down the street. I’d gone a few weeks ago, during their ‘Stuff a Sack for $5.’ sale, and came home with three bags fulla treasures. Including a stuffed bear on a stand, dressed like a poodle-skirted teenager, that was hanging out in the Toy Room. When I went the following week, I saw several other dressed bears. . . that were not part of the bag-stuff sale. Oops. Honest mistake, so I returned it today. And hit up their 25¢ sale ! Scored a sweater shaver, a book rest, an Alien Nation sound track CD, a midnight blue velvet dress, a little blue Playmate cooler, a broken-hip Quick Curl Barbie, a big Pinkie Pie with a removable soft book, a Disney Store Dory, an AG-tagged pink tulle petticoat, an 18” doll sized slumber bag, a corduroy OG doll skirt, tagged Cricket and Velvet original issue dresses, a pair of Kimberly doll skates, and a ballet tutu for a Cinderella 'Disney Princess & Me' doll. From the rest of the store, $5. got me a new blouse, two yards of black dot ‘minky’ fabric, a yard of what I hope is chalkboard fabric, and two yards of shiny thin silver lame material. $9.50 total. The minky alone is worth more than that, and so is Pinkie !

You’d think that, after that big a haul, I wouldn’t tempt the thrift spirits, but I went to Goodwill anyway. It was on the way home. Spent another $11. there, and got a Ty Pinkie Pie, also for Dearest Son’s collection, a set of mousepads (he needed one), and an oval slow cooker with a morning glory design. I already have a slow cooker – made a great corned beef, potato, and cabbage dinner with it the other day – thanks to my MIL’s apartment cleaning skills, but it’s small and round. I needed something bigger, and oval, as some recipes I wanna try call for layering in an oval cooker. I tested this one, and it works great, and is actually cleaner than mine (blush), so I got what I wanted for less than half price, and less than one I nearly bought two weeks ago. Found the free manual for it online, too. Funny how one small success paves the path for so many new efforts !

Came home to my guys napping, so I seized the time to make them simple Easter surprises. Lindt offered personalized ribbons for their gold chocolate rabbits, but I didn’t have those. Instead, I bought a discount bag of mini Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Kit Kats, cut some gold glitter tulle I just happened to have sitting around the house, and made little pouches of it to hold the candy, tied with the Lindt ribbons. Beloved Hubby and Dearest’s names are in gold, so they look great. Gonna wait ‘til they’re asleep again and play Easter Bunny. (gleeful giggle)

The True History of My Size (Ms.) Elsa

When I told Beloved a huge box showed up, he wanted a photo. He got one !

Hard to believe the third month of this year is nearly over already. Time is speeding up the older I manage to get !

Nice Friday here at Chez Insanity – sunny and 70°, although storms are due tomorrow and all weekend. Don’t care. Already done the banking and got enough fun food for the weekend, if we don’t venture out, it’s fine with me.

I did a lot of prowling this week already. Goodwill yielded another ‘Royal Reflection Eyes’ Elsa doll, barefoot, dreadlocked, and wearing a Cinderella doll’s dress. I’ll have to get a count of all the Elsas and Annas, there has to be nearly a dozen of both toddler and fashion versions. Either I’m still attracting them, or a lot of ‘em are showing up in the usual second-hand venues. I’m getting better at straightening out doll hair.

Speaking of Elsas, I wanted to tell you a bit about the one in yesterday’s photo. I discovered that Beloved Hubby was telling ummm. . . ‘someone else’ that he hates my dolls, and this person sympathized. When the dust settled, I’d donated three boxes of ‘em – nothing I truly treasured, but it kind of hurt when he supported my hobby to my face, yet told this other that they all gave him the creeps. I said later that the only one I regretted giving up was the ‘My Size’ Anna I’d found at a GWill for $10. – while we didn’t have space for her, her rictus smile even creeped me out, and she wasn’t my favorite Frozen character (I’m sure you know who is !), I had been looking forward to sewing for that size again.

As our 20^th Anniversary drew closer, he requested I avoid Amazon for a bit. And the day before, a huge box  showed up on the porch. Yes, he’d bought me a ‘My Size’ Elsa, to cement our new understanding and faith. He apologized about the whole ‘doll thing’, and said he’d mostly said it because he had precious little else to complain about to other person. He didn’t hate my dolls, understood why they were important to me, and wanted to see me happy with them – and him – again. It sounds strange, I know, but I fell in love with him all over again. Even my therapist was impressed.

I’m still finding my way, slowly. The one thing I wanted to sew for Ms. Elsa was a robe – even though she has a painted-on blue bodysuit, I wanted her to have one for wardrobe fittings – but no pattern existed for one in that size. Infant ones were not right, kid ones would be huge, and not even the numerous ‘kitchen table’ pattern peeps designed one for sale. So I researched several free online ones in unisex sizes and calculated the scale with Elsa’s measurements, then fashioned the pattern using her huge box and one of Beloved’s worn tape measures. Sewed it from a lightweight (read : thin) fleece lap blanket from Mal-Wart ($2.50, and I still have a third of it left), and there ya go. Adjust the sleeves, and I could easily use the same pattern for a kimono. I’m pretty happy with it !

Dearest Son and I hit the local Habitat for Humanity ReStore – but I’ll have to tell you about that tomorrow, today’s entry is almost a book ! 

I'm back again. Again !

My new pattern, on My Size Elsa. You'll meet her soon !

So. After, what, nearly a year and a half ? I’m gonna try this again. My various medical maladies have been stable for a year, I’m no longer in and out of the VA hospital so many times, they’re considering named a revolving door after me. I’m hoping to continue my health where it is or better – I’m walking, I’m more active, and I’m slowly finding myself again.

Bluntly, 2016 and 2017 were the worst years of my life, I hope. I’ve survived rejection, surgery, extreme insomnia, abandonment, death, severe prescription drug interactions, understanding painkiller addictions, tears, repeated lies, destruction of self-esteem, minor self-destruction, personal crises, three weeks of nightmares, oxygen starvation, rehab, and ongoing therapy. I’ve learned a lot, and there was joy and learning in between the misery, but I’ll be (expletive deleted) happy if I NEVER have to live anything like that again.

Don’t mean to be a downer, but you deserve to know the truth, even if I gloss over some of it, since you’re still reading this. I’ve contemplated restarting this for weeks, and I thank all of you who encouraged me on Facebook to do so.

After Life had me questioning everything, the truth remains, or returns. As I’ve said, I’m in group therapy, and thanks to the support of that group and a great therapist, I’m doing pretty well. I’m not where I was when I first introduced myself late last year, so I’m calling it an ongoing win. I’m learning about myself, and while it may be hard to believe that someone who wrote a blog for over ten years still had much to learn about herself, well, there it is. There are things and feelings we hide from even our truest self, much less the ones who love us, and I’m having to face them. I’m taking a ‘be aware, then take the best and leave the rest’ approach – may not work for everyone, but so far, so good !

Never fear, though – I still love dolls and sewing, even though they took a serious bashing in the Barrel of Awfulness, too. I haven’t sewn in weeks, and when I did, it was super-simple, but I designed it, and created the pattern for it, using the doll's box. And I’m proud of it. I’ve spent most of my life seeking approval and self-esteem in others’ eyes, I’m creakily learning to generate it from myself, for myself. Then, how to share it without being overbearing or expecting anything at all in return.

I feel stable for the first time in months, stable enough to do this. Please come with me if you like ! I’ll do my best to be here every day. Thanks always for sharing your day with me.